Grateful for advice my darlings!

#1
Wow, thats a hell of a story Tracy, im really sorry to hear that hunni! I know what its like though, when i was 19-21, the guy i was going out with for over a year was killed in a car crash. I will never forget that call i got on the phone when they told me! Its the toughest thing ive had to bring myself through in all my life so far and there has been a few disasters. It was such a dark time for me back then, im still amazed i actually made it to the other side and there were times when i seriously thought i wouldnt make it...but i did!

I still think about him all the time, and for a long time i couldnt remember what "happy" actually felt like! But now i feel it again. Not as much as i used too, that experience changed me entirely as a person, for the better in may ways.

Okay ive rambled on, sometimes i think though that talking about it might help other people. No one knows the experiences of other people really.

Ya know what is the most difficult though, his family love me soo much and at times his mum says when im around her she feels his presence. I still havnt told them im getting married. I feel like i would be betraying them in a way, because they almost see me as some kind of replacement after his death. His older brother Emmett treats me like his little sister and always looks out for me and likewise with his older sister. I havnt told any of them cos i feel so guilty. Like i cant move on with my life and leave them behind cos his parents are still mourning as a parent would. I dont know what i will do. I have to tell them soon.

Any opinions ladies? Since i am getting married in August

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Guys i posted the above as a reply to Tracy and her terribly sad story earlier, but i wonder if ye might look at the end of it and maybe give some advice or opinion or something. I cant think of a single way to go about telling them. I mean deep down i know they wouldnt be in any way angry with me...but i just cant bring myself to say it to them, i dont even know where to begin. Sami is the only proper relationship ive had since Cormac died! :confused:
 
#2
HEy shannon, sorry to hear about that, its so sad. It sounds like his family really love you though so they'll be happy for you no doubt. As i dont know what it was like i feel kinda innadequate giving advice but im sure they will not hold anything against you and will be really happy for you! Just be open and honest and they will be fine with it im sure!
xxxxxx
 
#3
Yeh i suppose i do know that deep down, but its just sooo much easier said than done, and ive left it so late to tell them now that its just going to be embarassing when i do tell them!
 
#4
yeah i see where ya coming from, always is harder doing the actual telling! Ummmmm..... just explain that u didnt want them to be hurt and u left it bcause you didnt want to tell them too early just incase it didnt work out or something
Im crap at this advice thing! Sorry!
 

Mella

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#7
I wrote this in the other thread, I didn't see this one :eek: -->
You have to tell them sweetheart. Just Sit them all down together and explain that you've met someone else and that you're getting married. You will always have a place in your heart for their son/brother...but you can't stay single forever. You need to move on and create a life for yourself, they will understand this. It doesn't mean you love their son any less, or think about him any less. And as Smil said, if they really love you like a daughter/part of the family...they will understand, and might even want to share your big day with you.
But definately tell them, before somebody else does.

Hmm, Honesty is the best policy in most situations..So just explain to them the real reason that you didn't want to tell them. That you were worried ect. There is no way they will begrudge you happiness. And no doubt that if Cormac was here now, he would also just want the best for you babe, and for you to be happy. Which you are with Sami.

Ah, I know it's easy for us to sit here and say 'Tell them..!' I know in reality it's much harder. But once it's done you will feel a weight off your shoulders, pet.

Chin up hun, This marriage of yours is going to be even more worth it because of all the hard things you're facing and coming up against along the way.

Kisses <3
 
#8
Hi Shannon, i hope everything works out for you hun, you really deserve to be happy after what you have been through, and to come out the other end a stronger person.

Your marriage is the beginning of a really happy time for you and Sami and Cormac's parents will support you! Cormacs parents will never fully get over the loss of their son, but they will want to see you happy! Life is for living Shannon, your a young girl live it!

Good luck and best wishes x jen
 
#9
Hey

HEY SHANNON I WILL ONLY REPEAT WHAT CARMY AND JENNY HAVE ALREADY SAID BUT WITH ONE DIFFERENCE
ARE YOU SURE THAT YOUR NOT A LITTLE BIT SCARED YOURSELF HUN AFTER ALL ITS A HUGE STEP AND IT REALLY WILL BE LEAVING THE PAST BEHIND AND LOOKIN TO THE FUTURE?? I MAY BE WRONG BUT I KNOW IF I WAS IN YOUR POSITION I WOULD BE JUST SCARED I SUPPOSE OF THE UNKNOWN . I KNOW YOU WILL BE HAPPY BECAUSE YOUR A STRONG PERSON AND YOU DESERVE ALL THE HAPPINESS YOU GET FOR YOURSELF AND SAMI.
HAPPINESS IS A GIFT AND SHOULD BE CHERISHED AND AS YOU KNOW ALL TO WELL ITS PRECIOUS SO I THINK CORMACS PARENTS WILL BE THRILLED FOR YOU.
DONT KNOW IF THIS HELPS HUN HOPE IT DOES


SUE:confused:
 
#10
maybe it will hurth them wen u tell them but i think they wud be more hurt if u went ahead without tellibg them and they heard it from somebody else!!!keep ya chin up shan itl alll work out in the end!!xxx
 
#11
Thanks guys,

I can see the exact points like milestones of my progression over the last 2-3 years since he was killed, i have moved on, im different now, but i have moved on...his family have not and thats understandable and every time i go up to them, its what is really the main topic of conversation for obvious reasons and it kinda just keeps drsgging me backwards instead of forwards. I have no doubts about marrying Sami at all!

I know i must tell them soon, very soon.

Thanks hunni's
 
#12
Yeah Snan tell them very soon, it'll give them time enough to take it all in! Also it'll be a weight off your shoulders and you dont want anything spoiling your big day! You go girl..
 
#13
hey a lil late to this but i have read all the above and agree with what everyone has said! i think they will be a little gutted at first but they will want u to be happy and u should tell them how hard it has been to break the news to them and u want to go ahead with this marriage with them encouraging or supporting u (if u get me) obviously they will wish it was their son up their with u and they must see u as something to hold onto that reminds them of their son! but in hearts they should know that in yours no one can replace cormac but u can't spend the rest of your life alone! shan honey it will be better to tell them rather than keep putting it off because it will help u move forward and take the next big step into your future with sami and if u do hold this back u wont be able to try and move on! we love u honey and no matter what will always be here to give the support and advice u need :eek: just be happy and enjoy yourself and everything else will fall into place! xxxx
 
#18
I am totally agree with the post Mell placed. And I also totally understand it is very hard for you to sat them down and tell them.... :( But honey you "must" do it, they adventually are gonna hear about it ...it's better to hear from you..And (from experience) I know and prommise you, when you told them you will feel so much better. I guess now not a day goes by when you don't think about it !! It will become way to stressfull.... Come on babe, I think of you..... :sweety:
 
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