A little out of Season but very good

Engineers and Santa Claus!

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (cencus) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each.

Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park his sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself.

On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them---Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship not the monarch).

600,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the same time that Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s in 0.001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now. Merry Christmas.

Author Unknown!

Merry Christmas!

A note for children: Engineers might be very good in "Quantum Physics" but they are very poor in "Santa Physics."


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When your children ask about Santa Claus.....

I'm bored too, and speaking of Santa..how cute hehe

Daddy", the child said, her eyes full of tears,
"Will you talk to me and quiet my fears?
Those bad boys at school are spreading a lie
And saying that reindeer can't possibly fly!"

"There's no Santa Claus, they say with a grin,
There's not one now and there never has been!
How can one man take all of those toys
To thousands and thousands of good girls and boys?"

"But I told them, Daddy, that they were not right,
And that I would come home and find out tonight.
Mama said wait until you come home it wouldnt be long,
So please tell me now that I was not wrong."

Her Daddy looked at her questioning face
And puffed his pipe while his frantic mind raced.
He had put this off as long as he could,
He had to think fast and it better be good!

Whispering a prayer, he began with a smile,
"Well climb on my lap, dear, let's talk a while.
"Remember at church how we learned to pray,
Asking God to take care of us every day?"

"And you know how we say Grace before each meal,
To this same God whom we know to be real?
Though we never see Him, we know He is there
Watching His children with such loving care."

"God started Christmas a long time ago
When He gave us His Son to love and to know.
A spirit of giving came with that birth,
And God's generosity filled the whole earth."

"Man had to name this spirit of giving
Just as he names all things that are living.
The name Santa Claus came to someone's mind,
As good a name as any to find."

"There is, you can see, and I think it's quite clear,
Truly a Santa who visits each year.
A spirit, like God, whom we never see,
He enters the hearts of your mother and me."

"Each year at Christmas for one special night,
We become him and make everything right.
But the real spirit of Christmas is in you and in me,
And I hope you are old enough now to see
That as we believe and continue to give,
Our friend Santa Claus will continue to live!