English is Stupid


Staff member
English Makes no sense at all! lol

Lets face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways
How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day
And as cold as hell on another

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this poem
It ends


Staff member
Lol yeah we are. American's make me laugh. This one time I was on Holiday in a really posh hotel, and this lady was getting so angry at the receptionist because she didn't speak much English. And this busty American lady turned to me and said so loudly ''Doesn't anyone here speak AMERICAN??' lol stupid lady..

I just watched an episode of Friends where Phoebe sings and I cant get smelly cat out my head..

Smelly Cat, Smelly cat what are they feeding you?
Smelly Cat, smelly cat it's not your fault...

They won't take you to the vet.
You're obviously not their favorite pet.
You may not be a bed of roses,
And you're no friend to those with noses.

Smelly cat, smelly cat what are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat it's not your fault!!!!!!!!!!!!! hehe

What a random post. :eek:
hehe you are random all the time lol! awww i love smelly cat! i really dont understand why americans dont have their own language though v strange! xx
x0x_JoAnNe_x0x said:
i really dont understand why americans dont have their own language though v strange! xx

Thats because WE RULE!!!!!! and therefore our language is lush! lol, sorry feeling strangely patriotic today! lol