Cigarettes And Tampons

British-Jo

Not Active Member
#1
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.

She says, confused,
"Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

He answers, " You see, it's like this, yesterday,
I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes,
and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers;
cause it's sooooooooooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own ............ so does she.
 
#2
Haha, good one... This has just reminded me...

How do u know a blonde secretary has her period?? - She has a tampon behind her ear, and can't seem to find a pencil anywhere.

:D
 
#4
I heard this joke befor, thought it was here to?? :eek:

What do you see when you look a Blonde girl real deep in her eyes ??

The back of her head !! :p
 

Mella

Administrator
Staff member
Blogger
#5
hehe I love Blonde Jokes

Why was the blondes' belly button sore?
Because her boyfriend was blonde too.

Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK"

What is blond, brunette, blond, brunette, ....?
A blond doing cartwheels. :D

A young woman said to her doctor, "You have to help me, I hurt all over."
"What do you mean?" said the doctor.
The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe. "Ow, even THAT hurts."
The doctor asked the woman, "Are you a natural blonde?"
"Why yes," she said.
"I thought so," said the doctor... "You have a sprained finger."

A blonde is on holiday and she wallks into an internet cafe to send an e-mail to her mum in America.
She doesn't know how to work the computers so she goes up to the guy on the desk and says: "Excuse me could you help me send an e-mail to my mum?"
The guy says "Yeh, but it will cost ya"
And the blonde says "Sure i'll do anything for my mum"
The guy says: "In that case follow me"
So she follows him into the back room and he pushes her down onto her knees, he unzips his trousers and pulls down his boxers and says: "Well go on then you said you'd do anything!"
So she picks up his ****, holds it to her mouth and says: "Hello.........mum are you there?"


*BLONDE & PROUD* :p
 
#8
sorry to bring up this post again (im being a post whore hehe) but i wanna add sum jokes!

Blonde paint job
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Only three doors
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

jumping blonde
A blonde, brunette and a redhead run to the top of a burning building. Below, a few firefighters are holding a blanket telling the redhead to jump.

When the redhead jumps the firefighters snatch the blanket away and she hits the concrete.

When the firefighters ask the brunette to jump she jumps and again they pull the blanket away.

When the firefighters ask the blonde to jump she replies, "I don't trust you, so just put the blanket down and back away."

Blonde Shoots Herself
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.

"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.

Well, I was trying to commit suicide, the blonde replied.

"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?"

"No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."

"And then?" asked the doctor.

"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."

"And then?"

"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."

Bowling Team
Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City. The Brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus. The Blonde team rides on the top level.

The Brunette team down below is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realises she doesn't hear anything from the Blondes upstairs.

She decides to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.

She says, "What the heck's goin' on up here? We're havin' a grand time downstairs!" One of the Blondes looks up and says, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!"

Donations
A blonde, brunette, and redhead went to a church to donate money. The brunette draws a circle around her and throws up all her money.

She says that whatever lands inside the circle is for God, and whatever lands outside of the circle she keeps.

The redhead then draws a line, stands on it, and throws up all of her money. She said that whatever lands on the right side of the line is for God, and whatever lands on the left side she keeps.

The blonde throws up her money, and yells,"God, whatever you catch is yours, and whatever you don't I get to keep."


hehe hope u like xxx
 
#9
Another Joke !!

Just got this one by e-mail...it's really disgusting :eek: but here we go !

At University a proffesor hase to introduce his students with autopsy.

"At autopsy 2 things ar very important"

1st you may not be affraid ore find anything dirty, to proof this he puts his finger in the anus of the body and licks it off. His students have to follow him. To keep their heads high, all the students follow.

The prof, continues..2end it's very importand to have a good eye for details. Who of you saw that I put my middelfinger in the body and licked my index finger !!!

LOL :doh:
 
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