Ettiqutte

Mella

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#1
I just got this in an email and found it quite amusing...Men ay.



Blowjob Ettiqutte ( By a woman )


1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.

2. Extension to rule #1- So if you get one, be grateful.

3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.

4. Extension to rule #3- No I DON'T have to swallow.

5. My ears are NOT handles.

6. Extension to rule#5- do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your ****?

7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get' it is NEVER OK to fart

8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" -get it through your head- I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just YOU can't have sex right now.

9. Extension to #8- "Blue balls" might have worked on high school girls- if your that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.

10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.

11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.

12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.

13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And Idon't care about the protein content.

14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.

15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.

16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning".

 

Mella

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#2
A Man's Rebuttal

1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. If you don't we will find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.

2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish.

3. You want to talk about farting? does the word "queef" mean anything to you?

4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it and be thankful I'm not pulling your hair.

5. When you're on period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop your bitching and moaning. Suck it up.

6. Speaking of which, if are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get, trust me.

7. You ***** about the taste , but trust me when I tell you that we get the shit end of the stick in flavor country.

8. At least there is no danger of a **** bleeding in your mouth.

9. Play with the balls.

10. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.

11. Caress the ass, too. WE like that.

12. Make hay when the sun shines. It's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old and fat and looking for some action, I gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".

13. I If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?
 
#3
that is so funny the girls one is sooooo true men take our pleasing for granted and when they think they can find someone younger we probably have whilst were with them and were not after the youngness u lil hugh heffners we like looks and money! and the younger girls are also after theres hehe xxx
 

Mella

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#5
x0x_JoAnNe_x0x said:
that is so funny the girls one is sooooo true men take our pleasing for granted
Tell me about it! Lol they don't call it a job for nothing.

Mental anxiety,
Mental breakdowns,
Menstrual cramps,
Menopause...

Did you ever notice how all our problems begin with Men!
 

Mella

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Staff member
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#7
andy said:
we where talking bout that the othere day t call it a blow job when u all u do is suck.
This term, now widespread in English-speaking countries, spread from the USA in the 1960s. A puzzling misnomer to many, to blow in this context is probably a euphemism for ejaculate, a usage occasionally recorded in the 1950s. This may itself be influenced by the there she blows of whaling cliche. An alternative and equally plausible derivation of blow job is from the black jazz musicians hip talk expression blow meaning play (an instrument). This term probably caught on in Britain and Australia simply because there was no well-known alternative in existence.(1)

I hope this clears it up for you Andy :D
 
#8
i remember a boy i know once turned around to me and said about a girl who had given him head that she was crap cas she didnt even blow! how stupid is that! typical boy talk!!
 
#14
eline no men are gunna wanna come in your room when u got that on ya door lol! yeh u would have to have it tattooed somewhere like that but they'd lose interest and not read it all! xxx
 

Mella

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#15
x0x_JoAnNe_x0x said:
eline no men are gunna wanna come in your room when u got that on ya door lol!
Bwhahaha. :D

If there is even a 1% chance that they get a blowjob at the end of it, they will say/do/agree to anything.
 

Mella

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#16
...and put on ya metal padlockable knickers from marks and sparks.

Has anyone seen the film Kids? I watched it yday with my cousin. Ha ha when the guy shags the girl when she's asleep. Lol :huh:
 

Mella

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#18
x0x_JoAnNe_x0x said:
i already have hehe beat u to it :p and on my 500th message hehe xxx
:D hahaha I knew you would.

Aww it's so cute - you even have to fill in your parent's email address hehe
 

Mella

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#19
Welcome to the goo Message Boards! It's a place where you can truly express yourself. Just click on the topics below.

Remember…gooKids NEVER use obscene language especially not in the gooCommunity. Also, remember to get your parents' permission before you sign up to use our features.

Thanks kids and happy messaging!!

Oogle, Iggle, Oggle and Goo Roo


hehe aw, so adorable. I think I have found another forum to post whore on. He he I wonder if the little children will like our rude jokes :cool:
 
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