Serious advice please

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#1
I need some serious advice people.
Two of my best friends are refusing to go to my wedding becasue they think im doing it too soon. It doesnt fit into their morals and ideals of exactly how long you should be with someone and how old you should be before to marry them.
Now most of my best friends are going but these two refuse to go. There exact words were they wont go and "watch me go through with it", ya'd think i was feckin goin into a gas chamber or commiting suicide. I think they are being completely irrational and ruining my wedding day.
Whether they agree or not, that should be put aside for the sake of my day, im only gonna have one wedding and they have effectively ruined it for me in advance.
How the **** do they know its not gonna work out. Even if it turns out to be a mistake in 10 yrs, that was my mistake to make!! Im so ****ing angry with them.
I cant believe they are doing this to me, im so disappointed in them, ive known these girls since i was 5 years old like :(
 
#2
I am no expert on relationships but seems to me that you maybe misguided to judge these 2 people as friends in the first place if this is their reaction to your big day.

True friends would indeed be entitled to consult you before the event and to raise their concerns but that is as far as it goes. Thereafter, true friends would be there for you and support you to the bitter end.


There are far better people on this forum who have far wider experience in these matters and looks like this thread might go bluer and bluer as the day goes on lol

Good luck anyway - Best Wishes for the future

Merlin :cool:
 

**claire**

Super Moderator
#3
Sounds SOOOOO familar chick!!!

I have a similar prob with 2 of my friends (not the marrying bit..just yet tho!)

It's their loss, its a day for you & sami to be happy & celebrate your love for each other!
If they cant over come there stubboness & at least try & be happy for you then its their loss. they wont get to see you looking beautiful & radiant on one of the most special days a girl can have.

It is your life ...you know in your heart how happy you & sami can be together & that is what counts.

ive had to put up with my 2 best friends doubting my relationship for the past 18mths, it got so much recently that i started to believe the doubts they had ..so much so that i ended everything with my man (thankfully i saw sense & he took me back!).

if your friends are the same as mine (which they sound very alike!) they are doing it because they care ..my friends are worried that im going to upsticks & live in
Turkey, worried that im missing out on some of the good sides to a relationship, with him being so far away.

they are finally beging to coem round to the idea that we love each other & no matter how hard it is for both of us, were willing to give it a go.

give them some time ...if they can see how happy you are, then they should come round, if not ..just enjoy your wedding, dont let them ruin it for you..it is your & sami's day!! ..... they will regret it in the long run!!

**big hugs** :sweety:
 
#4
Oh Shannon honey, my heart goes out to ya babe. What a horrible situation you're in. You really need to have a good heart to heart with the girls (although I'm sure you already have) and explain that this is the most important day of your life and you need them there. Explain that just because you don't know Sammy for 10 years or the fact that he's Turkish has no bearing on whether things will work out or not. It could be some guy from down the road who you met 6 months ago. Would they react the same way??Tell them how important their friendship is to you and you understand that they are concerned for you but you know it's right. You are not a silly young girl for God's sake.
I really hope thiings work out for you. I'm sorry my advise isn't much good, but regardless of what happens, just remember you and Sammy are happy and you will have a wonderful wedding, nobody can ruin that for you.

My fingers are crossed for you babe. Chin up ;)
Love Una
 
#5
Thanks guys, ive tried to explain to them but they are just being totally unreasonable and not having it at all, they keep going round in circles, they just wont accept that i WANT to marry this man. i am so angry.
I mean nobody ever said that friends have to agree on everything but they should support you and be a friend. Im so disappionted in them. And i have already told them that if they dont come around in the next few weeks then there wont be a frinedship when i get married, i mean realistically, how can i bring my husband home and be like "Hi honey, these are my best friends who refused to watch me marry you!"

Ya know Claire its so true what you said, they were getting on to me so much i was starting to believe they were right and doubt my relationship, but now i know they are wrong and if they want to ruin our friendship then they can know it will be them that has ruined it and not me! One of them even said to me, "if i dont go to your wedding will we still be friends when you come back?" I had to say no! I dont need friends who can never support me, she has let me down too many times.
 

**claire**

Super Moderator
#6
Shannon,

i think what is hard for our friends to see, is us happy with the man we love, yet so sad as we are so far away.

My friends know that Ozgur & i love each other , they have met him & they truely like him as a person. they just hate seeing me so sad that we cant be together just yet.

i hope you freinds come round hun!!
 
#7
have u asked them exactly why they don agree with u getting married??? this is one of the worst things o happen hun, but u just gotta make them see if ur not with sammi ur not happy n im sure if their true friends they will put ur happiness b4 anything else!!! friends sumtimes care too much n i know that sounds stupid but its true they think ur making a mistake n r gonnatry thier bet to stop u getting hurt but in the end they gotta let u get on wiv it n make your own mistakes n do wat good friends should do which is still be there for u if it does go wrong!!
 

Mella

Administrator
Staff member
Blogger
#8
Aw sorry to hear that Shan baybee.

It sucks when your close friends aren't there to support you. You know they will probably come around and end up going to your wedding. They are just doing their best to stop you from making, what they think, is a mistake. If they don't go - Although it will obviously hurt you. It is them that is missing out. You are gaining a beautiful husband and a wonderful future together. Whereas they are loosing a long friendship and will, I should imagine, be feeling extreamly shit because it's all their fault.

Don't ever let anyone tell you that what you are doing is wrong. At the end of the day you are the only one that knows what is best for you, and how you feel. Although they only have your best interests at heart, I still think it is really selfish of them to make you feel so bad.

True friends would not stop you jumping off a bridge, But they would be there to catch you at the bottom.
They shouldn't really be trying to stop you the way that they are doing, they should just be there for you if it goes wrong.

Good luck, I really really really hope it all works out for you in the end and your friends come to their senses and see how their behavior is effecting you.

*Cuddles*
 
#9
I hope they come round too, but if they dont...thats it for me, theu can f..k off for themselves

:cry: :1pissed:

I dont know whether im upset or angry lol

More angry i think!!!
 
#10
See!

....... I said this earlier..... as the night goes on it will get bluer! lol - tip my hat to Shannon!


Have a large Gin & Tonic on me! I will get you one at the hotel - after 7pm its buy one get one free so I get a freebie too! LOL
 
#12
Same Thing Happened To Me Shannon! The only person that ment anything to me that came to my wedding was my mum! (most important). However your friends should be there for you through this important day. AND should it go tits up (I sincerely hope it doesnt) they SHOULD BE THERE then too.
Tell them if they havent got anything nice to say, dont say anything at all. YOU LIVE AND LEARN EVERYDAY BABE...... GOOD LUCK. Have you got your dress????
 
#13
aww babe!!!! i feel for ya i really do!!! :kiss:

but if they thought anything of ya they would of put their feelings aside for they day and not spoiled it for ya!!!! they should keep their opinnions to themselves!!!!

babe if he makes ya happy then you go for it!!! no matter what anyone else says ok? you don't even know yourself if it is going to last!!!! if it is a mistake then it is but it is your decision to make ok babe!!!!

dont let anyone make your mind up for ya!!!!1 you go and have the best day of your life!!!! least you have your other friends there!!!!

the ones that love ya and are happy for ya and are real friends are there!!! just remember that babe!!!!!

luv ya
xxxxxxxx :kiss: :friends:
 
#17
Cool im glad you guys are with me on this one, its good to get an outside perspective on matters where emotions are running high, and you guys have confirmed what i believed so cheers :)

And of course you are all invited ;)
 
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