A joke for today

#1
3 men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their
new wives duties. The first man had married a woman from Albania, and
bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes
and house cleaning that needed done at their house. He said that it took a
couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from Korea. He bragged that he had
given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and
the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any
results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean,
the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married an Irish woman. He boasted that he told her
that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn
mowed,laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He
said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see
anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and
he could see a little out of his left eye. :box: :box:
 
#7
I know im still in fits of laughter at that thread everyone was ahhing and ooooing and we were like CHUNKY!!!! Oh God ya have me going again!!!
 
#8
hehe i like that joke no 1 messes with the irish gals or any of the kus forum gals either! btw i am not posting back to back the forum keeps putting all my posts together its dead weird :confused: xxx
 
#9
Carmella...

What was even funnier was the way he called it MY SWEET CANARY! I seriously thought he'd burst into song...quick block your ears!!!

My sweet canary eats all the pies la la la.
 

Mella

Administrator
Staff member
Blogger
#10
cHUNKY BIRDS

Jenny said:
Carmella...What was even funnier was the way he called it MY SWEET CANARY! I seriously thought he'd burst into song...quick block your ears!!!
My sweet canary eats all the pies la la la.
Bwhahaha :D

*Breaks into song* who ate all the pies who ate all the pies, my sweet canary my sweet canary he ate all the piessssss.

He's probably just fattening him up ready to eat him.

RIP Chunkyyyyyyy
 

**claire**

Super Moderator
#11
My joke for the day!!!

A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.

First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who's boss, he beats it to death with a spade.

Realising his employer wont be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.

Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both. What can he do?

Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.

He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp.

By now he knows what to do and throws them into the lions cage because lions eat anything.

Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says "What's the food like here?"

The lions say: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees."



:confused:
 

**claire**

Super Moderator
#12
Mondays joke

A stranger was seated next to Little Tommy on theplane when the stranger turned to the boy and said, "Let's talk. I'veheard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a with your fellowpassenger."

Little Tommy, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly,and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?""Oh,I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclearpower?""OK," said Little Tommy. "That could be aninteresting topic. But let me ask you a question first.

"A horse, a cow,and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets,while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass.Why do you suppose that is?""Jeez," said the stranger. "Ihave no idea."

"Well, then," said Little Tommy, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?" :p
 
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