Forum guide to posting classifieds....

#1
WOMAN'S ADS:
40-ish...............49
Adventurer............Slept with all your friends
Athletic...............No tits
Average looking...........Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful............... Pathological liar
Contagious Smile................ Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated..................Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure........... Medicated
Feminist............. Fat ball buster
Free spirit.................... Junkie
Friendship first...................Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun..................... Annoying
New-Age................ All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned................Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded................... Desperate
Outgoing...................... Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate...................... Sloppy drunk
Poet................... Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional................... Certified *****
Redhead..................... Bad dye-job
Reubenesque...................... Grossly Fat
Romantic..................... Looks better by candle light
Social..................... Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray
Voluptuous.................... Very Fat
Weight proportion w/height................. Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate................. Stalker
Widow................ Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart.................. Old bat

MEN'S ADS:
40-ish.................... 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic.............. Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking..............Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated...............Will patronize the shit out of you
Free Spirit........... Banging your sister
Friendship first...........As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun............... Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking.................. Arrogant
Very good looking................ Dumb as a board
Honest....................... Pathological Liar
Huggable............... Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle................ Insecure mama's boy
Mature............... Older than your father
Open-minded............ Wants to sleep with your roommate
Physically fit............ Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet.......Wrote ex-girlfriend's # on a bathroom stall
Sensitive.......... Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive............ Gay
Spiritual.................. Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable.................Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful......... Says "Excuse me" when he farts
 
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